How To Spank Your Man

TOPIC: Have you earned yourself a spanking this Holiday Season, young man??

2010-12-23T03:38:00.001-05:00

It seems to me, there are SO many opportunities for male naughtiness at this time of the year. Don't you agree, Ladies? There's so much to get done and sometimes our better half is more concerned with making himself scarce than making himself useful.

Presents must be bought, homes must be decorated and relatives must be braved. You know, it's common knowledge that many people get quite blue over the next few weeks. Some say it's because of heightened expectations, some say it's because of all the added activity ... and some of us might say it's because there is a long overdue spanking lurking about. No?

Do you think that a good spanking during these pre-holiday weeks could help alleviate all the stress and chase the blues away?

Do you think you will have a White Christmas or a Crimson Christmas?

Did you see "Mommy Spanking Santa Claus" underneath the mistletoe last night?

Do you think Mrs. Claus ever spanks Santa? (Do you think she spanks the elves? Rudolph?)

Just wondering!

Happy Happy, Merry, Merry

Monica Wilder

WELCOME to all you Strict Women & Naughty Men!

2010-11-29T23:44:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone, it's so nice to be back on the web and have a forum to continue my explorations. I'm happy to invite you all into my virtual living room for a civilized "spanking salon" of sorts ... a place where you can lounge and share ideas with sophisticated men and women.

For those of you who don't know me, I am a very normal woman, a professional in the vanilla world, who is endlessly fascinated by this idea of women spanking men and approach it with great interest, curiosity, vigor and, dare I say, affection. While I, myself, don't partake of the harsher BDSM aspects that some connect with f/m spanking such as bondage, degradation or true violence I understand that others might, but not here. That said, I do wholeheartedly believe in a woman being strict as hell on occasion, wielding a mean hairbrush and spanking the hell out of her man if need be!

Unlike other sites on the web, I don't approach spanking as a nasty, dirty little fetish or as a way to infantilize men but, rather, as powerful and positive form of adult play that can have some very beneficial effects for both genders. Please consider this as an unusual place where you can feel free to examine this desire from all angles, using our creativity and intellect as well as our sensual and erotic natures.

is THE place

to read what other m/f spanking enthusiasts

are thinking, feeling and doing.

And it's THE place

for you to offer your thoughts on the subject.

So, ladies and gentlemen,

let the

CONVERSATION

begin!

"What does

getting or giving a good spanking

do for you?"

Little by little I'll be posting some questions and musings on the subject

so please free to check back here at the Wild Talk Blog often

every day people tell us the darndest things!

By the way,

I run a tight ship and discourage discord, complaining and inane debate and will delete comments that annoy me. (See, I told you I was strict!)

The ever curious,

Monica Wilder

IDEA: The Ladies Hairbrush Day EXPERIMENT!

2010-07-16T12:27:00.001-04:00

I just had this idea while traveling on the train. I always wonder how many men on the train would respond if I spoke up and said "Who wants a spanking?" (I imagine 5 - 6 men raising their hand per car!)

So, I got this idea and thought I would invite all the spanking ladies here to join me. As a social experiment, sometime this week, when you know you will be in a public space for awhile (subway, train, waiting room, mall, etc ...) toss a spanking hairbrush in your purse. You know, a substantial wooden one with a flat back.

Then, while you are seated, casually take the hairbrush out, give your hair a few swipes with it and then ... leave it in your hand, almost as if you forgot it was there. Just sit there with the hairbrush in your hand, resting on your lap.

Then ... look around. What men are staring at the hairbrush, if any at all?

My hunch is that a non-spanko guy won't even notice it, it's perfectly normal for a woman to have a hairbrush in a public place. BUT, I would think that one who is in need of a good old-fashioned hairbrushing will be riveted to it.

Am I right, fellas?

AND, if you find one staring, then look directly at him, knowingly and sternly, and start tapping the hairbrush on your lap. See what happens! Report back!

What do you think? Who will try this with me?

Monica Wilder

MORALS: Is spanking your man naughty or ... nice?

2010-07-16T12:23:00.000-04:00

As you all know, I am fairly open-minded when it comes to sex. I think sex is a wonderful perk that comes with being alive and that most of the things that turn us on are pretty mysterious and fascinating. Aside from the gruesome and those involving non-consent, I am very understanding, even if it's something that doesn't strike my fancy.

That said, I still have times where I think ... "Am I a bad person for thinking like this?" or, most likely, "Am I a bad woman for thinking like this?" In the lovely "madonna/whore" society I grew up in, nice girls don't go around spanking men and putting things in their butts (hmmm ... there's an idea.) I even have trouble dating more than one man at a time. Some swinger, huh?

But the truth is, it does bother me at times. Mostly when I'm in the company of a man who I suspect would think I was not such a nice girl for loving what I love to do. When I feel the "morality police" breathing down my neck, I must admit it's hard not to wonder.

But then I imagine the alternative.

EWWWWW! BOOOOR-ING.

That's when I am reminded why I think the way I do and how much more fun life and sex is because it's in my life. ESPECIALLY as time goes on. I can't imagine how vanilla couples stay interested in the old "in and out" after decades of it. It boggles my mind.

I just spent the week with a very dear vanilla couple who has no idea of my intimate predelictions and I have to tell ya ... it was a real snooze. Even when the gal and I had our obligatory "girl talk" it was sooo vanilla. Then, once at the table when we were hanging out doing a crossword puzzle, her hubby yelled out, "Well, you could SPANK me." And she just laughed, in that way that non-spankos do when the subject comes up and went on chatting. I wonder how serious he was, though.

I know that you guys wrestle with the "morality" of it all when it comes to approaching a vanilla mate, but do you ever feel that way even withIN a spanking relationship? Like, "Oh, we are sooo bad?"

OR, do you have judgements about a woman who loves spanking you? Oh, I know you LOVE it, but do you think just a little bit less of her because she's not a "nice" girl?

And Ladies, do you ever have such thoughts about yourself?

As always, I am curious to know what you all think and feel about this. What's your take on it?

The ever curious,

Monica Wilder

YOU WANT TO KNOW: What does a lady like to see or hear?

2008-11-08T19:32:00.004-05:00

Hmm, what humiliating position
shall I put him in tonight?

frank b asked this;

He would "love to know what things a lady likes to see and hear from the man she spanks. Is there an attitude or position you find more erotic. Do you prefer the spankee to take the punishment silently or do you prefer the moans and cries. Is there a position you find more interesting. In short how do we men make it more tempting."

I've polled a great deal of women who spank men on this very topic and this is what I've heard from them ...

What do you like to see and hear?

For some reason they really like for their naughty man to protest the spanking as much as he can and to be horrified at the prospect of having to go over her lap like a child and have his pants pulled down and his bare bottom exposed. The more he verbalizes how humiliating he finds it and how unacceptable that is for him, the hotter it is for many ladies. But he has to submit, not because of her brute strength, but because the alternative is something he simply can NOT live with.

In a scenario:
A favorite is the young man (high school senior or college freshman) who has committed some heinous act (drunk driving, peeping tom, stealing her undies) that he couldn't bear his parent's knowing. His only alternative is to follow the lady's every command and take his medicine as she sees fit, no matter how embarrassing it is for him.

In real-life:
For many women it would probably be that if he doesn't submit to a real punishment spanking for some really bad behavior she feels he's committed in their relationship, then he doesn't deserve a play spanking ever again. Since I recommend you never spank a man who hasn't expressed an interest in this past-time we must assume that the gent in question craves play spankings and it would be unthinkable for him to forfeit that out of his unwillingness to pay the price of his actions.

To HEAR:
Many of the ladies have reported that they like to hear him protesting and whining and begging her to please stop. And if he get's snotty or rebellious about his spanking, that's a great reason to really light into him, which then makes him whine and beg. After a certain point, some women get aroused by hearing him moan and whimper because he's so turned on by the same very spanking. And even THAT embarrasses him.

To SEE:
Some women like a man to strip totally naked while others like to have the gent keep his shirt on because they like to have his butt framed by the material. It's seems even MORE naked and embarrassing to them somehow. When she tells him to, she really enjoys seeing him arch his back and present his butt high in the air for her, his sweet spot just for the taking. (some men think this means to stand his butt up higher with his legs, but it's really all about the arch as if someone slipped an ice-cube down his spine.)

Sometimes, a surprising amount of the ladies have admitted that like to see him present his butt and also open his legs wide so that he is totally exposed. They enjoy seeing his vulnerability.

Does that answer your question?

I always like to add to my research so, I ask any of you ladies who are reading this, what do YOU like to see and hear? (I know that many of our readers ladies are a little shy about visiting a site or posting on a blog, so if you gents want to relay what the women who have spanked you have told you about aural and visual preferences ... go right ahead!)

Monica

PS. Oh, and in light of the economic crisis I am extending my discounted Stimulus Package for my two books PLUS the bonus "The Tea Party" book which reveals even MORE about what a woman is thinking when she spanks you! Enjoy!

Related Sites:

Women Spanking Men

POLL: THE WILDER REPORT II - My Adult Spanking Life

2007-01-27T14:27:00.001-05:00

THE WILDER REPORT II: These questions are about your more recent experiences and desires in your Adult Spanking Life. Thanks so much for your participation.

Please answer ALL the questions - by NUMBER - try to choose from one of the suggested answers then follow with anything you might like to add. This should be a lot of fun!

YOU MUST START WITH YOUR BASIC INFO

OR YOUR ENTRY IS USELESS AND WILL BE DELETED.

TYPE IN THE FOLLOWING:

Gender, Age, Marital Status

(male, 48, single) SAMPLE

1. What age were you when you got your first adult bare-bottom spanking? (Late teens, 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, NEVER)

2. Was it administered by an acquaintance, friend, girlfriend, wife or professional?

3. Was it for punishment, fun or foreplay?

4. Was it inside of an existing committed relationship or outside of it? (Inside, Outside)

5. Does your significant other know that you desire to receive spankings at all? (Yes, No)

6. If so, what was her response to it? (Delighted, curious, obliging, not interested, repulsed)

7. If your significant other is NOT interested, do they know that you receive spankings elsewhere? (Yes, No, N/A - not applicable) How do you deal with it, emotionally?

8. If your significant other WAS INITIALLY interested, has her interest grown with time or lessened or N/A?

9. Would you say your desire to be spanked has grown or lessened over the years?

10. How often are you spanked as an adult now - approximately? (daily, weekly, monthly, every sx months, every year, years)

11. If you are dating, how soon do you express this desire to someone? (first few dates, 1-3 months, 6 mos - one year, first few years, many years later, NEVER)

12. Are you ashamed or accepting of this desire?

13. Choose as many as you like from the following. I prefer to be spanked with: hand, brush, slipper, paddle, belt, cane, ruler, ferule, flogger, other (please write in)

14. What added attractions do you desire with your spankings: mouth-washing, corner time, panty play, forced feminization, temperature taking, prostate massage, strap-on, fellatio, cunnilingus, rimming, intercourse, none, OTHER (please write in)

15. Do you like to be spanked in roleplay, real life situations, or no situation?

16. If you like roleplay do you like your spanker to be; mommy, aunt, grandmother, teacher, boss, neighbor, friend's mother, therapist, girlfriend, wife, NONE, OTHER (please write in).

17. What age do you like to play when being spanked: child, teen, adult?

18. For true offences, made-up ones or NONE?

19. What stage do you like to be spanked to: pink, red, to tears?

20. How do you feel about marks? (no thanks, okay if it happens, yes please)

21. While being spanked do you feel: turned on, enjoyment, satisfaction, pain, other

22. While being spanked do you: get an erection, remain soft, leak fluid, orgasm, OTHER (please write in)?

_some new questions suggested by readers_

(If you've already answered and want to answer these as well, copy and paste your entire original posting then add on your new answers. I will then delete your original! Easy!)

23. What kind of spanker's dress do you prefer (prim, matronly, conservative, everyday casual, provocative, overtly sexual, leather n' stuff.)

24. Have you been spanked in front of others? (Yes, No) Would you be willing to be? (Yes, No) If yes, strangers or people you know?

25. Are you excited by the risk of being found out or do you like to keep this totally private? (Risk or private or both)

26. Have you ever been outed? (Yes, No) If Yes, describe.

27. What positions to be spanked in appeal to you the most? (OTK, OTK - scissor lock, OTK - legs split over one knee, over chair, on couch, on bed lying flat, on bed with bottom propped up, on bed in diaper position, kneeling on all fours, kneeling with nose to the ground, standing, standing with hands on knees, nose to wall, other - ?)

28. Have you ever been spanked to tears? (Yes, No) If so, what caused it? (Excessive pain, you felt you had disappointed your spanker, you felt you had disappointed yourself, the roleplay was young age, other - ?)

29. Do you see one disciplinarian regularly? Do you seek variety?

30. If you do go to one, what do you hope for in a professional Domestic Disciplinarian?

Any other ideas for questions?

POLL: THE WILDER REPORT I (Where did this all come from?) continued

2006-12-27T22:21:00.001-05:00

Yes, YOU! For those of you who arrived late, THE WILDER REPORT is an almost scientific study I created to discover the origins of this wonderful pastime. This may be the only study of it's kind ever attempted! You can find it in the Archives under September 2006.

I only have about 100 USABLE responses on it and I would love to have 200 or more.

Here's how you post;

CHOOSE the LETTERS from my opening post first,
then your GENDER & your AGE

Like so:

A, K, L
Male 56

Then write your personal comments here, if you like.

If you have not posted exactly like this - your post CANNOT be counted! If you realize that you did it wrong - you may go back and REPOST (copy and paste your incorrect post underneath your answers so I'll know which one you were.)

Now from my stats I happen to know for a fact that we have at least 500 people checking in here almost daily, and that's a low estimate. (Yup, this is a pretty popular blog!) My point being, I need more of you to participate.

The questionnaire is lots of fun and there are plenty of fascinating true accounts already entered into the thread. If you are reading this post then I want you to go to THE WILDER REPORT and follow the instructions TO THE LETTER! Understood?

I have to be stern on this ... this study, as informal as it is, is very important to me. And I'm sure you're just as curious as I am to find out how this all came about in our heads.

So go to September, scroll down, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, pick your letters and start typing. Make sure you add your GENDER and AGE, too!

POLL: THE WILDER REPORT I (Where did this all come from?)

2006-09-06T01:55:00.003-04:00

Hello Gentlemen (and Ladies), Well, you know how fascinated I am by all of this so I'm very curious about how this craving started with you. I always ask the "spanko" people I meet and have noticed some trends. Some of you have had this desire since you were very small, some in your teens, some as young men and some ... very recently!

I would love to know what the percentages are - just think of me as Kinsey. (Well, I'm a bit cuter than Kinsey was.) Anyway, even though it's not very scientific, it covers everything I have heard to date.

This ... is the WILDER Report.

I'm going to list possible answers and I'm going to ask you to:

1. Type ONLY the letter(s) that apply to you at the top of the post.
2. Under that, type your gender and current age (feel free to post anonymously.)
3. If you'd like to add something (a comment, your experience, whatever) then skip a couple of spaces before you type it. This will make it easier for me to tally without having to search through your writing to find your choice.

Like so:

A, K, L
Male 56

Then write your personal comments here, if you like.

If you have not posted exactly like this - your post CANNOT be counted! If you realize that you did it wrong - you may go back and REPOST (copy and paste your incorrect post underneath your answers so I'll know which one you were.)

Okay, let's go. Pick just as many as you need that apply to you and your experiences.

CHILDHOOD/TEENS

A. I was spanked bare-bottom by my mother and/or father and I know that is where this started.

B. I was spanked bare-bottom by my mother and/or father but it had no affect on this at all, it came from somewhere else.

C. I was spanked bare-bottom by another woman (an aunt, neighbor, teacher, employer, etc.) and found it titillated at the time or later on whenever I thought about it.

D. I was spanked by my parents once in awhile but it was not bare-bottom and not ritualistic and did not have any affect on this, it came from somewhere else. .

E. I was spanked by my parents once in awhile but it was not bare-bottom and not ritualistic and that IS where this all started for me.

F. I was hit or beaten by my parents but not spanked in any way and this has nothing to do with that, it came from somewhere else.

G. I was hit or beaten by my parents but not spanked in any way and for some reason I crave spankings because they feel different.

H. I was NEVER spanked or hit by my parents but even as a child I just felt like I wanted to be spanked.

I. I was NEVER spanked or hit by my parents - this desire came from somewhere else.

J. As a child or teen I saw or overheard another child/teen being spanked and it titillated me.

K. As a child or teen I saw something (magazine, photo, book, etc ...) of this and it titillated me.

L. A nun or priest was the one who did the spanking and that's where it came from.

M. I like to roleplay the initial event that triggered this for me.

ADULT

N. I discovered I had this desire as an adult in my 20's.

O. I discovered I had this desire as an adult in my 30's.

P. I discovered I had this desire as an adult in my 40's.

Q. I discovered I had this desire as an adult in my 50's.

R. I discovered I had this desire as an adult in my 60's.

S. I came across it on the internet and it titillated me.

T. I saw it somewhere (magazine, book, video, film, etc...) and it titillated me.

U. A woman (wife, girlfriend, date, etc...) I knew suggested it or did it to me and I immediately liked it.

V. I started out being the spanker and then began to feel like I wanted to be spanked as well.

W. I don't know where it came from, I just started to feel like I wanted a woman to dominate me in this way.

X. It turns me on sexually.

Y. It doesn't turn me on sexually.

Z. Other (please explain briefly here. You can go into details below if you like.)

Thank you for your participation!

POLL: "Who ARE you? Sort of"

2005-11-13T15:04:00.001-05:00

Image via Wikipedia

It helps if I have a demographic of sorts. You can post anonomously, if you like, but I would just like to know the following.

Age, Gender, Marital Status, US State or European Country, Occupation

so it would read like this ...

47, M, Single, Connecticut, Pilot

or

35, M, Married, France, Lumberjack (ARE there French lumberjacks???)

Will you help me? I need to prove how men of all ages, from all walks of life are fascinated by this.

Thanks!

Monica