TOPIC: Are we Naughty or Nice?

As you all know, I am fairly open-minded when it comes to sex. I think sex is a wonderful perk that comes with being alive and that most of the things that turn us on are pretty mysterious and fascinating. Aside from the gruesome and those involving non-consent, I am very understanding, even if it's something that doesn't strike my fancy.

That said, I still have times where I think ... "Am I a bad person for thinking like this?" or, most likely, "Am I a bad woman for thinking like this?" In the lovely "madonna/whore" society I grew up in, nice girls don't go around spanking men and putting things in their butts (see Strap-on Salon in the LINKS section.) I even have trouble dating more than one man at a time. Some swinger, huh?

But the truth is, it does bother me at times. Mostly when I'm in the company of a man who I suspect would think I was not such a nice girl for loving what I love to do. When I feel the "morality police" breathing down my neck, I must admit it's hard not to wonder.

But then I imagine the alternative.


That's when I am reminded why I think the way I do and how much more fun life and sex is because it's in my life. ESPECIALLY as time goes on. I can't imagine how vanilla couples stay interested in the old "in and out" after decades of it. It boggles my mind.

I just spent the week with a very dear vanilla couple who has no idea of my intimate predelictions and I have to tell ya ... it was a real snooze. Even when the gal and I had our obligatory "girl talk" it was sooo vanilla. Although, once at the table when we were hanging out doing a crossword puzzle, her hubby yelled out, "Well, you could SPANK me." And she just laughed, in that way that non-spankos do when the subject comes up and went on chatting.

I know that you guys wrestle with the "morality" of it all when it comes to approaching a vanilla mate, but do you ever feel that way even withIN a spanking relationship? Like, "Oh, we are sooo bad?"

OR, do you have judgements about a woman who loves spanking you? Oh, I know you LOVE it, but do you think just a little bit less of her because she's not a "nice" girl?

And Ladies, do you ever have such thoughts about yourself?

As always, I am curious to know what you all think and feel about this. What's your take on it?

Miss F

QUICKIE: What's the difference between a strong woman and a "bitch"?

There's an old joke that the definition of a bitch is a woman who just won't listen. And sadly, what makes it so ironic is that it may well be true.

This question has been dogging me in writing the book. So many women are accused of being a bitch by men if they make demands, get angry or take charge of situations. And yet it's these very things that turn you on.

Is it just certain men who think like that or have you thought or called a woman a bitch at some point in your life. If so, what prompted it. And how does it differ from a dominant woman.

Is it that the same behavior that warrants being called that - suddenly get desirable when a spanking is attached to it?

What's up with that? I'd like to clear it up for the women.


POLL: The Wilder Report II - My Adult Spanking Life

THE WILDER REPORT II: These questions are about your more recent experiences and desires in your Adult Spanking Life. Thanks so much for your participation.

Please answer ALL the questions - by NUMBER - try to choose from one of the suggested answers then follow with anything you might like to add. This should be a lot of fun!


Gender, Age, Marital Status
(male, 48, single) SAMPLE

1. What age were you when you got your first adult bare-bottom spanking? (Late teens, 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, NEVER)

2. Was it administered by an acquaintance, friend, girlfriend, wife or professional?

3. Was it for punishment, fun or foreplay?

4. Was it inside of an existing committed relationship or outside of it? (Inside, Outside)

5. Does your significant other know that you desire to receive spankings at all? (Yes, No)

6. If so, what was her response to it? (Delighted, curious, obliging, not interested, repulsed)

7. If your significant other is NOT interested, do they know that you receive spankings elsewhere? (Yes, No, N/A - not applicable) How do you deal with it, emotionally?

8. If your significant other WAS INITIALLY interested, has her interest grown with time or lessened or N/A?

9. Would you say your desire to be spanked has grown or lessened over the years?

10. How often are you spanked as an adult now - approximately? (daily, weekly, monthly, every sx months, every year, years)

11. If you are dating, how soon do you express this desire to someone? (first few dates, 1-3 months, 6 mos - one year, first few years, many years later, NEVER)

12. Are you ashamed or accepting of this desire?

13. Choose as many as you like from the following. I prefer to be spanked with: hand, brush, slipper, paddle, belt, cane, ruler, ferule, flogger, other (please write in)

14. What added attractions do you desire with your spankings: mouth-washing, corner time, panty play, forced feminization, temperature taking, prostate massage, strap-on, fellatio, cunnilingus, rimming, intercourse, none, OTHER (please write in)

15. Do you like to be spanked in roleplay, real life situations, or no situation?

16. If you like roleplay do you like your spanker to be; mommy, aunt, grandmother, teacher, boss, neighbor, friend's mother, therapist, girlfriend, wife, NONE, OTHER (please write in).

17. What age do you like to play when being spanked: child, teen, adult?

18. For true offences, made-up ones or NONE?

19. What stage do you like to be spanked to: pink, red, to tears?

20. How do you feel about marks? (no thanks, okay if it happens, yes please)

21. While being spanked do you feel: turned on, enjoyment, satisfaction, pain, other

22. While being spanked do you: get an erection, remain soft, leak fluid, orgasm, OTHER (please write in)?

Some new questions suggested by readers:

(If you've already answered and want to answer these as well, copy and paste your entire original posting then add on your new answers. I will then delete your original! Easy!)

23. What kind of spanker's dress do you prefer (prim, matronly, conservative, everyday casual, provocative, overtly sexual, leather n' stuff.)

24. Have you been spanked in front of others? (Yes, No) Would you be willing to be? (Yes, No) If yes, strangers or people you know?

25. Are you excited by the risk of being found out or do you like to keep this totally private? (Risk or private or both)

26. Have you ever been outed? (Yes, No) If Yes, describe.

27. What positions to be spanked in appeal to you the most? (OTK, OTK - scissor lock, OTK - legs split over one knee, over chair, on couch, on bed lying flat, on bed with bottom propped up, on bed in diaper position, kneeling on all fours, kneeling with nose to the ground, standing, standing with hands on knees, nose to wall, other - ?)

28. Have you ever been spanked to tears? (Yes, No) If so, what caused it? (Excessive pain, you felt you had disappointed your spanker, you felt you had disappointed yourself, the roleplay was young age, other - ?)

29. Do you see one disciplinarian regularly? Do you seek variety?

30. If you do go to one, what do you hope for in a professional Domestic Disciplinarian?

Any other ideas for questions?